http://www.hcconstruct.com/birdhouse-concerts/
Think back to when your love was new, when it had just fallen in love:
How'd you know I was in love? Maybe you can not eat, could not sleep, could not concentrate on work or chores or anything that does not include your love object. Maybe you felt like a completely different person, unrecognizable even to yourself. Even those who have long standing fears of privacy finding deep connections in the initial agony of love – bass the umbrella of love, intimacy magically becomes as natural as breathing.
And indeed, the brain – in a very physical, measurable, the scientific level – was unveiling its own set of major changes when their love was new. Knowing the truth behind it can help infuse its long-term relationship with a new life, although the days of heady, brand new love are long behind you.
What does the research on the romance
Dr. Helen Fisher and her research team wanted to know what happens to the brain when people fall in love. In a series of clever experiments, took people who described themselves as head-over-heels in love and not MRI of their brains while watching pictures of their loved ones. Dr. Fisher also scanned their brains when they saw the pictures of foreigners (ie people who had no feelings).
Guess what happens to your brain when you're in love?
When you're in love, the pleasure centers of your brain goes into over drive. In particular, two brain chemicals (the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine) are secreted in greater quantity. These chemicals are associated with feelings of happiness, the greatest joy, focus and goal-directed behavior (physical activity and certain drugs also increase these brain chemicals).
This explains why you feel so wonderful when you fall in love – You're tall! (But it's the kind of high that is perfectly legal and come with no dangerous side effects.)
As more love and the passage of time, the intensity decreases and crush these brain chemicals back to normal levels. This allows you to be less consumed with his new lover, which is important for you to begin to regain balance in your life that existed before he fell in love. If dopamine levels never returned to normal, you never do anything at work or at home, since it would only be able to think of your partner. Other important areas of your life would be affected.
Let to use the research to deepen intimacy and create a more dynamic relationship:
The intense love, exercise and certain drugs are not the only ways you can keep the brain's pleasure centers of active (and, if not obvious, I am recommending only the first two). The activities are new and exciting course, also increase dopamine levels.
Here's the important point for their relationship: when you and your partner share new and exciting experiences, surrounding his relationship with both positive feelings (joy, excitement, joy). Feelings positive experience associated with their partner (and is associated with positive feelings). This will deepen intimacy and love and keep the passion alive!
This could explain why couples feel the need to go on vacation to rekindle the fires relationship – that are creating experiences that are mutually exciting and new, and although they do not realize, that are stimulating the pleasure centers of their brains. Did you feel closer to your partner during and after your vacation?
Putting this research to work on your relationship:
Make a commitment to do something new together
This can be simple and cost nothing, or complicated and expensive (like visiting a remote destination). Depends on you.
Research findings show that couples that make the novel undergoes a regular part of your relationship rate their relationships more positively. Apply these important data for their own relationship – try new things together.
Here are some ideas:
~ Go to a new restaurant or cook a meal new life together.
~ Take a class together (some ideas: the adult education classes, art, yoga, dance, gymnastics, cooking, foreign language).
~ Create something together (a aviary, a bank, a floral arrangement, a model of the Titanic).
~ Decorate a boardroom (which both are involved in all aspects of the project, Rather than one partner doing all the work while the other just nods his approval on the color choices).
~ Enjoy a new hobby (the photography, carpentry, enigmatic puzzles, or decisions, stamp collecting, skiing).
~ Get fit. Join a gym as a couple. Or a walk or hike (taking different routes from time to time).
~ Vary your leisure activities. Go to concerts and plays and museums. (And if you've never been to the opera, you can not very well say that I do not like … Right?)
~ Volunteer for something you're passionate about. Imagine how good you feel if you and partner benefits from the union to do something new, while delivering aid to someone who really needs it.
… Think together about other new experiences you both like to try – research shows that variety is indeed the spice of life (and love)!
To discover other ways to create a deeper more intimate relationship visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and join Dr. Nicastro Relation Tools FREE Newsletter.
As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship "and" Relationship self-defense: Control the way they argue their case … before the control. "
About the Author:
Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Rich and his wife Lucia founded LifeTalk Coaching, an internet-based coaching business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Relationship Help: How the Latest Research Can Transform Your Relationship
Jonathan Coulton – Birdhouse in Your Soul @ PAX 2009
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